Identity is such a curious thing. As human beings, we have this inherent need to designate ourselves as something, to mark us, to define us. It's an attempt to express what and who we are, both as individuals and as groups.
In Waterland, Graham Swift contemplates how humans are the only story telling animals, always bound by that yearning to tell their stories. Identity is very much intertwined with a narrative, be it a personal or collective one that illustrates our perception of what we were, what we are, and often times (futilely) what we will become. Identity is ultimately a narration, an expression of a story.
Identity is too complex a subject matter to narrow down effectively in one book, let alone one article. Indeed, identity encompasses our beliefs, our actions, our history, our aspirations, our sense of belonging, our sexuality, our gender, our ethnicity, our passions - to cut a long story short, identity pertains to virtually everything in our lives. Therefore, I'll simply try to briefly relate my own personal understanding of it and how my sense of identity evolved. I have come to see citizenship as the most powerful source of collective identity.
It is crucial to first realize that identity is ever evolving. Individual and collective identities change over time, influenced by the context, if not replaced by other forms of identity. No identity is primordial, fundamental or "natural", in the sense of always being there, being irreplaceable, and being "right" in an absolute sense. Identities are acquired, human-made, artificial constructs. Now you might ask, what about skin color and race? It is true that such genetic and physical traits are innate, but turning such innate attributes into a sense of identity - something that would define who you are as an individual and member of a group - is something one chooses to do or is brought up to. Identifying based on race is an acquired process, even if based on innate characteristics. This does not mean that identities are wrong or invalid for being artificial, all are ultimately equally valid and the quest for identity is a natural quintessential yearning. But it is important to appreciate that artificial aspect of identity.
I like everyone else, had that yearning, that quest for identity. And mine was a pretty convoluted and ambivalent one, not without confusion and doubt. I was raised in Damascus, Syria amongst an old Damascene upper-middle class family. Arabic was my first language, though "western" culture was practically omnipresent in my upbringing, so much so that English became in fact my preferred method of communication despite being educated in a French school. And I was brought up into (Sunni) Islam, in which I had been previously convinced, in its essence if not details. My teenage years had been mired with questions exacerbated by the peculiarities of the region's history and political climate - Am I Damascene? Am I Syrian? Am I Levantine? Am I Arab? Am I Semitic? Am I part of an Islamic "ummah"? - pondering on which group I should, or indeed must, identify with primarily. Can one identify with all of them simultaneously? It is possible, in fact for a period of time I identified with all of them, however this only served to aggravate my confusion as I struggled to find a primary source of collective identity.
Then it dawned on me that I didn't actually choose to identify with any of them consciously. I had been drawn to, as it was the only life I had known and was raised in, thus the only outlet to attempt to satisfy the eternal questions "who and what am I?" with a shoddy answer, but I never actually felt a strong sense of belonging, other than to my family. Although my ideas, values and principles shifted significantly in my teenage years, their common concern had always been to change mostly everything around me on a fundamental level. In retrospect, I believe I was invaded by a constant feeling of discomfort with regards to the environment, city, country, region, culture, religion that I had been brought up in. They, in essence, were not me.
Through luck, it must not be denied, I was born in Canada, so I was a citizen. and my parents for all intents and purposes planned for me to study there. I didn't really, consciously, choose to go to Canada. When I first came here, I initially hated it, for it was alien to me despite my exposure to "western" culture through my travels and as an inevitable result of globalization. However as I immersed myself in my new environment, and as I matured intellectually as an adult and rejected the ideas, norms and creed I disagreed with, what was a fear of the unknown gradually and steadily got replaced by a sense of comfort, a sense of belonging. I saw the essence of what I had been daydreaming as a teenager being fulfilled or enshrined in Canada. Moreover I acquired new values after having seen and experienced their merit first hand. In essence, who I am as a person associated with my new Canadian environment, and it in turn refined my perspective on who I really am and improved it. To be quasi-poetic, I saw myself in it, and it helped me see myself in a more complete way. And thus, I consciously chose, as an individual, to identify with it.
So when asked the question "what are you?", I now reply unreservedly "I am a Canadian Citizen." Canadian, because I identify with its overall values, its principles, its mindset in addition to its political structure, notwithstanding the flaws. But an equally important part that I emphasize on is the "citizen" part. I am a citizen, not based on a piece of ID, but rather based on a mindset and perspective - a strong sense of responsibility and urge to participate in whatever way I can to improve my polity in all aspects, and having the political and social freedom to do so. In my case, this feeling of citizenship supersedes the other facets of my being that I deem superficial in comparison, such as first language and ethnicity, which moreover I didn't choose as opposed to my sense of citizenship. I believe citizenship in a truly liberal and democratic environment can be a driving force behind unity while preserving diversity and individuality, rallying a variety of individuals who can work together to improve the polity they have a stake in and an attachment to, as artisans or artists are attached to their creations. For what could motivate one more than the welfare of something they can feel a sense of ownership towards? This sense of ownership and responsibility can only be significantly enabled and empowered by political and social freedoms as well as equality.
Do I deny my origins and past? No. Do I regret them? No, for how could I? It is part of my story. This experience helped shape both my individual and collective identity. I cannot pretend it didn't happen, nor would I want to for it granted me perspective. Although it was enabled by fortunate circumstances, the process of me appreciating and embracing Canadian citizenship as my primary collective identity would not have happened the same way if at all, if it wasn't for my past life. And at the crux of this process lies the discovery that genuine citizenship born out of a personal conscious choice based on values, and sense of belonging and responsibility, can and should be a source of identity which can enrich countries and supplant ethnic, racial, religious or cultural nationalisms in favor of pluralism, multiculturalism, and individualism.
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